190: Caramel Earwax Swirl - [image: Turning This Car Around Hero Image | Blurbomat.com] Out now: 190: Caramel Earwax Swirl
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Naomi Watts' brain has been replaced by my parents' dead kitten, Leo, and she is peeking out from underneath Naomi's checkered fedora. The Queen's golf tournament is going badly, and this obnoxious man keeps telling me that I need to quit smoking. Somehow all my cigarettes have been smooshed into the bottom of one, and it's raining. My friends have been drinking, and their beer bottles are lined up in the nook of the tree by the 8th hole. The water trap is a lake, and I have to take a rowboat over to meet them. Still we have garbage detail, and the obnoxious man won't stop hounding me. The Queen seems to be afraid to take a good swing, and her flaming red ballgown is hindering her abilities. I told her to swing away, but she just smiles wanly and continues her little hacks. I'm back in the boat on the lake, and now I need a drink. All the beer is gone. What in the hell happened to Naomi's brain? We're very concerned.