This past weekend, I got to spend some time with one of my favorite people, let's call him Flagstaff (moreso because I like making up pseudonyms than any need on his part for anonymity or nonesuch), and even though he was deathly ill, he still managed to be hilarious and insightful, as per usual. Just as an example of Flagstaff's uniquely laughable nature, Saturday night he woke up feeling feverish and awful, and the way he determined that while his fever was bad it was not hospital bad was by running through some statistics in his head: national literacy rates, local D.C. literacy rates, etc. As long as he could run them without problems there was no need to go to the hospital.
This revelation the next morning led to a story about when he was in India and got a horrible intestinal virus and was given an antibiotic that has been banned in the United States and was his only option. He then, to judge his soundness of mind, created a string of ten numbers, which while remaining intact provided him with the much needed evidence that his brain wasn't going through the spin cyle of bad drugs. That's why he's one of my favorite people in the known universe.
So, we were talking about how I've joined the Ipod generation just recently, which we all felt was overdue but still in time, and Flagstaff busts out the story about when his girlfriend's (let's call her Montpelier [yes, the theme for today is state capitals]) brother (he can be Santa Fe) gave Flagstaff his old Ipod. Apparently, he was bopping out to some tunage on the metro (D.C.'s subway system), when he got an inner ear shock like a moth at a purple zapper party. He jumped around in full spazzout and yanked the earbuds out consequently making himself look very foolish in a crowded subway. I have a wonderful image of this in my head as we speak. I knew I wouldn't be able to write that as funny as he told it, but I tried (maybe just a little too hard there, purple zapper party). His assessment: God wants him to pay more attention when he's reading, so he's not allowed to have an Ipod. I think he's right.
224: Things You Can Throttle - [image: Turning This Car Around Hero Image | Blurbomat.com] Out now: 224: Things You Can Throttle